FORBEARING LOVE
Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
Colossians 3:13-14
“Forbearance” is a word that challenges and invites us to love as Christ loves.
Forbearing love endures, bears with, is patient, and suffers long.
If I were to help you understand its meaning, I would suggest that it is walking continually in an attitude of forgiveness, allowing love to call the shots every time.
It is the spirit of forbearing love that we witness throughout the pages of the New Testament. If we allow this kind of love to be alive and well in our hearts, we will enjoy the blessing of healthy relationships in the Body of Christ and live out the gospel before the eyes of every unbeliever. If true Christ-like love is what is in our hearts toward others, there will be fertile ground for the fruit of forbearance to flourish.
How do we respond to the injustices of others towards us? Do we demand our rights over every little wrong, do we have to insist on voicing our feelings with every petty grievance, or can we be forbearing and seek to be like Paul, desiring to see no man after the flesh?
We are all sinners saved by grace that are living on a “level” playing field. There are imperfections that live in each one of us that are annoying to others. Even our closest friends can do things that drive us crazy and require the constant exercise of our patience.
It is possible to measure this forbearing love by what comes against it in our hearts.
The critical spirit poses the greatest danger to Christ-like love.
It is so easy to find fault with people, to expect the worse in a person versus the best, and imagine offenses where none were even intended. This spirit works in direct opposition to the law of love which thinks no evil.
We turn to Christ’s example.
Does He look upon us critically and suspiciously? His love overlooks it all. His love is unconditional and with sin taken care of on the cross, He sees the people we are becoming.
Perhaps one of the most beautiful characteristics of forbearance is keeping silent under provocation. It takes two for an argument. There is such wisdom that Proverbs teaches us about speaking the soft answer that turns away wrath. If we cannot respond in forbearing love, then we can learn not to answer at all. Jesus responded to the insults He received with patient uncomplaining silence. This is the power of meekness at work in the life of those who walk in forbearing love.
It has been said that:
There are times when silence is golden, when words mean defeat, and when victory can be gained only by answering not a word. Many of the painful quarrels and much of the bitterness of what we call so often “incompatibility of temper” would never be known—if we would learn to keep silent when others wrong us. We may choke back the angry word that flies to our lips. The insult unanswered, will recoil upon itself and be its own destruction.
Insults can not bring us harm unless we allow them to penetrate. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God. We do not have to give in to anger, but by the power of the Holy Spirit have victory over it. Forbearance becomes a perfect shield which protects us from all the wrongs that seek to come against us.
Remember God whose mercy never fails us. His love bears with our neglect, ingratitude and disobedience and He never grows impatient with us. We live in His forbearing love. He is slow to see our sins or to write them down against us and His grace is always available.
May we daily extend to others the forbearing love that we live in every day.