As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion. Proverbs 11:22
Is Discretion a Lost Virtue?
If you were to ask a young woman today, what it means to be discreet, you would quickly discover she may have never heard the word before. I believe that is because discretion and its value as a virtue in a woman’s life is being lost to the culture.
In a world of social media that tempts women to take what should be private and make it public, we shouldn’t be surprised when indiscretion rears its ugly head.
Can you picture a pig with a beautiful gold ring through its nose? The beauty of the ring is in no way becoming to the pig. Now imagine a beautiful woman who has no self-control. Her conduct in no way reflects the woman God intended her to be. To compare the character of an Israelite woman to that of a pig was an extreme insult, but it communicates a far more valuable lesson that women today need to embrace.
In an attempt at gaining attention, some women feel the need to be seen. This insecurity drives them to often flaunt their outward appearance by dressing in a less than modest way. Their lack of self-control causes them to give way to their feelings and emotions, leading to rash and often unwise decisions. Perhaps the best example is a woman who is thoughtless in her speech, talking about anything and everything without any filter or consideration of others in her comments.
Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary says that discretion is the quality of being discreet; cautious reserved in speech; the ability to make responsible decisions. The biblical definition defines the word as “taste” and “judgment”.
What does discretion look like in a woman’s life?
A woman who is discreet in outward character embraces her identity in Christ.She conducts herself with wisdom, not trying to draw attention to herself. She knows how to avoid embarrassment. A woman with inward discretion thinks before she speaks and is cautious in making her decisions. She is careful to discern all the facts, taking heed to wise counsel before moving ahead.
One writer beautifully describes God’s original design:
God has called Christian women to stand out from the women of the world. They are to be an example of how God created a woman to be. A Christian woman with discretion does not need to be the center of attention. Instead, she finds her security in her relationship with Jesus Christ. She is not quick to flaunt what she knows, or what she looks like. She is not impulsive, or loud. She does not talk about everything that comes to mind. She is happy to be silent and hidden. Rather than a pig with a ring of gold through its snout, she is a like a rare gem that is quarried from deep within the earth, hidden for a time until discovered by those who recognize her true beauty and value.
Women who are mature in Christ are to disciple other women, helping them to understand and embrace their identity in Christ. In embracing their God-given identity, women will avoid foolish and unwise choices and preserve their witness for Christ. We may have to be courageous in bringing an indiscreet post to a young woman’s attention or lead her to the Word of God to guide her in making wise choices and decisions.
Titus 2 commands us to be teachers of good things. Discretion ranks high on the list. May we be those women who seek to preserve the virtue of discretion, first by leading women to God’s word to discover who they are in Him, and then by simply being women of discretion. Our example will go a long way in teaching women the value of being discreet.